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Learn To Listen - 3 Steps To Improving Your Marriage Through Listening
By Christopher Hall
It is so hard to stop and listen – especially when we don’t agree with what the other person is saying. In today’s culture, listening is just not practiced. People believe they have to “be their own self” and “not care what anyone else thinks about me.” Well, those are good commercial slogans, but they don’t always work in a marriage. For a marriage to work, you must listen to your spouse. Here’s how. Focus On The Other Person Eliminate distractions (TV), show interest (face your mate), pay attention (give eye contact), and listen. Listen to what they are saying without arguing verbally or mentally. Don’t build your rebuttal while they are talking. Just listen. Summarize What The Other Person Said When they have completed their point, summarize in your words what you think they said. Let them correct you as you go. Summarization has several benefits – 1) it lets you understand exactly what they said and 2) it lets them hear what they said. Sometimes when people are angry, they say things they don’t really mean. When you summarize what you heard them say, they may realize they were too harsh or didn’t explain themselves quite right. Ask The Other Person To Say More Don’t jump in at every pause. Let them have the floor when speaking. When they are done, ask nicely if there is anything else they want to say. Sounds like it might be difficult? Well, sometimes it is, but this is your marriage we are talking about. |
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